The Grace of a Godly Woman
Men, from the beginning, God has graced woman with the greatest dignity, adorned her with honor, and clothed her in wonder. Woman is endowed with the same image of God as man. She is co-equal with him in creation (Gn 1:27). A wife, no other creature, could complement Adam and become his companion, counselor, and co-laborer for the mission that God ordained for "them" (Gn 1:28; 2:18-23). Women—married or not—whether our wives or our sisters in Christ—are co-heirs of the same grace and co-laborers in the same gospel with us (1 Pt 3:7; Rm 16:3). The priceless value of a godly woman cannot be too highly praised. So, men, let us try!
Brothers, we need to adopt God's view of women before we ever seek a woman's hand in marriage. The man who does not treasure women in general will hardly honor one woman in particular. Before you can know how to honor and treasure a wife, you must take care to show God's love to mothers and sisters, orphans and young ladies, widows and women of all types. "A good woman is the best thing on earth. Women were last at the cross and first at the open tomb. The church owes a debt to her faithful women which she can never estimate, to say nothing of the debt we owe in our homes to godly wives and mothers." - Vance Havner
Brothers, married or not, Christ's self-sacrificial care for his Bride is our benchmark for how we view women. The purity of his love for the church must humble us, reprove us (Eph 5:25-33), and produce in us ongoing repentance and striving after godliness. How we think about, speak about, and treat women is of great concern to God. She bears God's image. She bears the seed of redemption (Gn 3:15). She bears the Messiah (Mt 1:16; 1 Tm 2:15). "Strength and dignity are her clothing" (Pr 31:25) along with "a gentle and quiet spirit" (1 Pt 3:4). Such an adornment of a woman's heart is an imperishable beauty and is "very precious" in God's sight (1 Pt 3:4). Is the hidden beauty of her heart precious to you?
While the husband is said to be the head of his wife (1 Co 11:3), an excellent wife is said to be "the crown of her husband" (Pr 12:4). How valuable she is! Heightening the dignity of all women, wisdom is personified as a woman and we do well to listen to her (Prov 3:13-18). Are you considerate of her counsel?
From the beginning, woman shines, beyond man's wildest imagination, as God’s crowning achievement. Before Eve was created, Adam named all of the animals God brought to him. "But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him." With all of Adam's glory and all the authority he had been given over creation, Adam could not conceptualize woman, much less produce her. He had no idea what he was missing. "So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man" (Gen 2:21a).
While Adam slept, not even looking on as a "conscious spectator,"1 God created something exclusive out of Adam's rib. "That the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved."2 Woman is neither man's slave nor his superior (Gn 2:18-23). Rather, she is his crown. "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man" (Gen 2:23) were Adam's first recorded words. Just as with Eve, a godly woman can only be given by God. And a good wife is a sign of favor with God, a gift so good she can only come from the Lord and not man (Pr 18:22; 19:14).
While man and woman share the same dignity in creation, both made in God's image and equal in honor, we must admit that woman was herself a one-of-a-kind creation of God, perfectly unique, perfectly tailored for her particular and irreplaceable role in the mission that God gave to humanity. Adam could not be Eve. Adam could not be without Eve. She was co-equal with him; she was companion to him; she was a co-heir of the grace of God with him. She complemented him; she co-labored with him; she crowned him.
While the world has trampled on women since the fall, it is our job as Christians, especially men, to highly honor the dignity of women in our world. Men, to wrong a woman must be understood to be a grave offense to God and a defrauding of our neighbor (1 Thes 4:1-8). Women must not to be objectified, commodified, abused, belittled, discarded. Far be it from us that we would defile her whom God has dignified. Adam was the first to fail women. The Last Adam, Jesus Christ, is restoring our role through the gospel in rightly esteeming them.
Men,
A woman's dignity is to be defended.
Her beauty is to be praised.
Her purity is to be protected.
Her counsel is to be sought.
Her diligence is to be admired.
Her value is to be treasured.
Her excellencies must be esteemed.
She is to be understood and honored, guarded and adored.
She must be guided by you in godliness.
Her growth in grace must not be hindered.
Her ministry must be advanced.
Her trust must be secured.
Her loyalty must be won.
The gift of her hand in marriage, should God give his godly daughter to you, must be prized.
All earthly relationships must be subordinate to hers.
All jewels and earthly treasure must pale in comparison to her worth.
Brothers, may God forgive us when we have not shared his view of women, for we have many sins. May we endeavor to love and to cherish the greatest earthly treasure God has given to us. May our sisters flourish in our midst. May our wives be lavished with our blessings. May women everywhere hear honor from our lips.
Young man, before you ever take her hand in yours, forge God's view of her in your heart. Before you get close to her, remember that the Lord avenges immorality and solemnly warns you to protect her purity (1 Ths 4:1-8). Before you ever ask her to dinner, ask yourself if you intend to leave your father and mother and be forever joined to her. If you are not looking to marry her, you have no business dating her!
Before you pursue her, seek wisdom from others, older and wiser.
Before you say you love her, make sure you have renounced your love of self.
Before you ever put a ring upon her finger, demote all inferior treasures.
Before you seek to be one flesh, you must prize your union with Christ above all.
"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels"
(Prov 31:10).
1 Mathews, 216.
2 Matthew Henry, Commentary on the Whole Bible (Complete).
