A Practical Guide to Forgiveness, Part 1

Forgiveness freely flows from God and is made possible only on account of the Gospel, because Christ died for our sins in order to thoroughly cleanse us of them all and release us from the magnitude of our guilt before God. It is important to remember that God chose to forgive. God determined to forgive; God willed the purchase of forgiveness through Christ. God was not bound or forced to forgive us. Rather, out of the abundance of his gracious love and mercy, he chose to forgive us and reconcile us to himself through the blood of his Son. We do not deserve the Gospel. We do not deserve forgiveness. Nobody who has sinned against you deserves to be forgiven either.

But what is forgiveness? “Forgiveness is a deliberate act of love, mercy, and grace, Forgiveness is a decision to not hold something against another person, despite what he or she has done to you." 1

God was not bound to forgive, but you are (Col 3:13). The very fact that God forgave you in Christ demands that you forgive others (Ep 4:32). Furthermore, Jesus demands that his followers forgive from the heart (Mt 18:35). Mere words eked out grudgingly will not do.

But what do you do when you find yourself struggling in your heart to forgive? The deepest scars are the most difficult to forgive. I want to give you 10 practical guides to forgiveness. We'll look at the first five this week:

1. Focus on the character of God again and again.

When we study the God of the Bible, we should be astounded all over again by how forgiving he really is. When you struggle to forgive, go to the God of forgiveness. Hear his heart for sinners. Hear him say of himself, "The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin" (Ex 34:6-7a). Of course he will not let the guilty go unpunished, but leave that to him (Ex 34:7b). Recognize the Jonah in you, the one who knows God is this forgiving yet does not want that same forgiveness to be poured out on others (Jo 4:2). "May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ (2 Th 3:5).

2. Meditate on the Gospel.

Scripture, from beginning to end, is the Good News story of this merciful God forgiving sinners by means of the sacrifice of his only Son. While you meditate on the Gospel, take special note of how rich and lavish God's mercy is!

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us (Ep 1:7-8a)." God is "rich in mercy," has loved us with a "great love," and will forever show "the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus" (Ep 2:4-7). It was "according to his great mercy" that God saved us (1 Pt 1:3), pouring the Holy Spirit "out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior" (Ti 3:5-6). The gospel message is "the unsearchable riches of Christ" (Ep 3:8, see Col 1:27). The Lord is "abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness" (Ex 34:6) and "he will abundantly pardon" (Is 55:7).

God the Father "has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins" (Col 1:13-14). As a result of God's overflowing grace to us in the gospel we are to "[p]ut on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive" (Col 3:12-13). We must "[b]e kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you" (Ep 4:32).

3. Pray for their good.

The gospel teaches us to pray for others, even our enemies. It becomes much easier to forgive people, even those who have sinned against us in horrific ways, when we pray blessings on them instead of curses. Jesus calls us to "bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you" (Lk 6:28, see Rm 12:14). If you are struggling to pray a blessing, confess that sin to other believers and ask them to pray for you— that your love may abound more and more "to the glory and praise of God" (Ph 1:9; Ja 5:19).

4. In your prayers, remember that you have sinned too.

Jesus taught us to pray for our own forgiveness: "forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us" (Lk 11:4). And our sins are many. "For your name's sake, O LORD, pardon my guilt, for it is great . . . Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins" (Ps 25:11, 18). But may we know God's "abundant mercy" like David, did. "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions" (Ps 51:1). Though our sins are great, God's grace is greater (Rm 5:20)!

Even when you are blameless in a situation, pray that God would forgive those who have sinned against you. The most powerful example of this comes from Christ's lips while being crucified as he repeatedly cried out, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Lk 23:34).

Study the prayers of the Bible that teach us to plead for the pardon of others like Moses did after hearing the LORD describe himself as a forgiving God, "pardon our iniquity and our sin (Ex 34:9). Again, he reflects on God's character and pleads for pardon: "'The LORD is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but he will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, to the third and the fourth generation.' Please pardon the iniquity of this people, according to the greatness of your steadfast love, just as you have forgiven this people, from Egypt until now" (Nu 14:17-19).

You would do well to look to the prayers of Solomon (1 Kgs 8), Daniel (Dn 9), And Nehemiah (Neh 1), all seeking forgiveness for themselves and the nation.

5. The ability to forgive is not from your own strength, but from God in you.

Forgiveness is not something you can just drum up on your own by some great exercise of willpower. It comes through the gospel rooted in your life, through God in your soul. The love of God the Father has been poured into your heart (Rm 5:5), the mind of Christ has been given to you (Ph 2:5), and the power of the Spirit of God dwells in you (Eph 3:16).

Next week, we will look at 5 more practical steps to forgiveness.    

1. https://www.gotquestions.org/what-is-forgiveness.html